I have heard often on here that feminists apparently focus on the similarities between the genders?

From my experience a feminist is someone who cares about equality and properly defines it, whereas an anti-feminist is someone who claims they care about equality and blame all of societies ills on women, abortion and groups devoted to help women. I do not know how true this impression is, all I know is that generally the people who have identified themselves as feminists have conformed to the definition I gave above as the self identifying anti-feminists have conformed to the definition I gave above.